Moment of weakness

A date was set for the marriage of a fine human
I went there to witness the ceremonial union
My heart was not uplifted during the occassion
I was struggling with emotions that were alien

I felt a deep disturbance that was instinctual
Perhaps the result of a life spent in seclusion
My constant companion has been my mind
And I knew it well enough to accept conclusion

The conclusion was the harbinger of distress
It seemed to me that a trap was being closed
But to see a valiant virile hero thus chained
Was to me a climax that seemed quite forced

My mind went into a tail spin as is its wont
I went into seclusion again to face its wrath
The chaos was of monumental proportions
And needs strength to hold it together fast

My reasons are quite certainly superficial
But there are times when the instinct speaks
And in this case there was an inner force
That seemed to speak strongly of a disease

A life seems to have manifested in the dark
It cause was purely physical and not planned
This perhaps is the reason for the surface act
Which is not revealed to the eye that is biased

Perhaps there is a path that will be shown
When ages meld into lives that shall be gone
During which the causes will be fully revealed
And a single eye shall see truth as it is conceived

In the interim I will continue to be of service
To a person who holds me in a web of bondage
I will continue to work in the field of grace
To send harmony their way for pain to assuage

But I shall not become weak again as I was before
The chinks in my armor shall never become deep
My goal is set and I shall transform myself complete
To fulfil my destiny that is with grace entirely replete